BEYOND THE BINARY!

SPOTLIGHT: LOURDES RIVAS
PRONOUNS: THEY/THEM/ELLE

How do you identify? Queer Trans Non Binary

Hi everyone! My name is Lourdes Rivas and I am a queer Xicanx non-binary Kindergarten teacher. I was born in Los Angeles, CA. My parents are from Chihuahua, Mexico and came to the US before my siblings and I were born. We lived, played, and attended school in a small city called Lynwood, but our summers were spent with family in Chihuahua. When I was young, I dreamed about being a veterinarian or an archeologist. As I grew older, I started volunteering in schools and realized that I really loved teaching and witnessing student learning. I have been a Kindergarten teacher for 7 years now. When I am not teaching, I am spending time with my wife Virginia, playing with my dog Monster, running, biking, reading, or out adventuring alone.

SPOTLIGHT ORGANIZATION:
QUEER WOMEN OF COLOR MEDIA ARTS PROJECT

Lourdes’ Spotlight Organization is Queer Women of Color Media Arts Project Based in San Francisco, CA, the Queer Women of Color Media Arts Project offers free filmmaking workshops to queer community. They work to demystify the filmmaking process and make it more accessible to tell our authentic stories.

Deepen your learning, conversations, and action by supporting Queer Women of Color Media Arts Project here: https://qwocmap.org/

A LETTER FROM LOURDES…

Hi Queer Kids!

I want to start off by sharing with you more details about all of the words I use to describe myself. In my bio I shared that I am a queer Xicanx non-binary Kindergarten teacher. Those are a lot of words to describe me. Let me tell you about each one. I am queer. This means I don't follow any rules about who I choose to love. I am Xicanx. This means that my parents are from Mexico, I was born here in the US, and I am connected to both cultures. It also means that I honor all of the struggles of Xican@s before me. Without them, I would not have grown up with so many opportunities. I am non-binary. This means that I identify outside of the gender binary. I'm not just a girl and I'm not just a boy. I know I am sometimes both and sometimes neither. I am a Kindergarten teacher. This means I get to create a special space (our classroom) where 5 & 6 year old kids can be free to learn, play, and express who they are. What are all the words you use to describe yourself? I love meeting people and learning more about all of the describing words we may have in common. 

I forgot to mention that I am also an author! Sometimes I forget that part of myself. I wrote the book "They Call Me Mix / Me llaman Maestre" so I can share more about my gender identity with my students. Have you read it? It's cool if you haven't. There's still time. 

Sometimes the words I use to describe myself change, and that’s the really cool thing about being queer. In our beautifully expansive queer community, you’ll notice that many people you meet will ask questions like “what are your pronouns?” When I hear this question, I feel seen and heard. It lets me know that the people I am meeting are aware that gender is not binary, and that it’s not okay to make guesses about people’s pronouns. I used to think that I didn’t belong in places where these kinds of questions don’t get asked. Sadly, one of those places was SCHOOL. Can you imagine a teacher feeling like they don’t belong in a school? It’s true! But I couldn’t let that feeling keep me from being a teacher. I used to feel like there wasn’t any space for me to share with students about my gender and pronouns. Little by little, I started creating that space myself. And that’s what I want for you. I want you to know that you DO belong there, wherever it may be. You belong here, you belong there, you belong anywhere. You can BE anything.

May you always have the freedom to live your truth, 

Lourdes Rivas

VIDEOS!

RESOURCES!

• From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea, Kai Cheng Thom

  • If you could grow sparkles, feathers, scales, and spikes like Miu Lan, what would you look like right now?

• They Call Me Mix, Lourdes Rivas

  • How did Lourdes feel when people were treating them as their assigned gender? How did they feel when their friends treated them as their true gender? How did their friends show they respected Lourdes’ gender?

• City of Ghosts, episode 2 “Venice,” Netflix

  • Did you notice that Thomas introduced themself with they/them pronouns?! Besides their pronouns, what else did you learn about Thomas? What did Thomas learn about the skateboarders in Venice?

• Kapaemahu, a short film telling the story of Hawaiian spirits who are mahu, a native Hawaiian gender identity. Watch it together, and read the subtitles out loud!

  • What special gifts did Kapaemahu bring to the Hawaiian people? How did that change when Americans took over the island and hid the story of Kapaemahu? Why is it important to remember their true story?

CONVERSATION GUIDE!

• Some people believe that there are only two genders, boy and girl. Those people believe in the gender binary. We know there are lots of genders like nonbinary, transgender, genderqueer, and more! Why is it important to listen to nonbinary people about their gender?

• How can a family or community support nonbinary people? What can you do to make nonbinary people feel welcomed, supported, and loved?

• What gender words did you learn in Spanish? After you learn along with Teddy, practice asking Teddy’s questions in Spanish with a friend or family member. How do you say your pronouns in Spanish? Check our vocab list for a reminder, and remember, tu decides - you decide!

• Kapaemahu was created by Hinaleimoana Wong-Kalu, a Native Hawaiian mahu teacher. Mahu is a Hawaiian gender identity, traditional for native Hawaiian people who aren’t boys or girls. There are many diverse gender traditions around the world and throughout history! Grownups, what do you know about non-binary gender traditions in your family, ancestry, or cultural traditions? What can you find out together? We invite you to research global gender identities outside of the Western binary, here are some places to start:

  • Read Gender Variance Around the World, by Lucy Diavolo 

  • Find one story within your cultural ancestry, and one story outside of your cultural ancestry!

  • Who are the indigenous people and groups where you live? As a family or community, learn their names and stories at https://native-land.ca/. 

  • Continue learning about indigenous stories in City of Ghosts! Follow Thomas and their friends as they learn from Tongvaa people in Episode 4: Tovaangar.

  • Note: Colonial and patriarchal violence tries to erase and hide histories of global gender diversity. This exploration might be painful, difficult, or slow; we encourage you to move with curiosity and patience as you seek more truthful stories.

ACTIVITIES!

• Super Spectrum! A spectrum is a range of many options. One example is the color spectrum, or all the colors between black and white. Another example is the gender spectrum, or all the genders between, around, or outside of boy and girl. Now it’s your turn to make your own super spectrum!

  • Materials: paper, crayons, optional: old magazines or photographs, glue stick, scissors

  • Start by drawing black and white on either side of the paper.

  • Draw the whole color spectrum between black and white! Make sure to include all your favorite colors!

  • Cut colorful pictures from an old magazine.

  • Glue the pictures on your spectrum, matching the color of your pictures to the color of your spectrum. If available, add photographs of yourself to your spectrum!

  • Share your artwork with a friend or family member!

• Nonbinary Leaders: Nonbinary people live in all shapes and sizes, expressions and passions! Let’s learn about powerful nonbinary people in our world. These four people are different in a lot of ways, but all of them identify as nonbinary. 

  • Read about Layshia, Ericka, Jonathan, and Lourdes. Look at their pictures and start to make some observations!

  • Notice the differences and similarities between Layshia, Ericka, Jonathan, and Lourdes. What is different about their clothes? What is different about their bodies, skin, and hair? What is different about their pronouns and their passions?

  • Question: If you met Layshia, Ericka, Jonathan, or Lourdes could you tell they were nonbinary just from looking at them? Of course not! We can never know somebody’s gender by how they look, what might you say to respectfully find out more about their identity? 

  • Write a question you have for Layshia, Ericka, Jonathan, or Lourdes. You might ask them about their passion, favorite food, identity, or something else!

  • Challenge yourself to research more nonbinary people! Can you find any nonbinary people in the Queer Kid Stuff videos or in books? Compare what you know about the nonbinary person you found to Layshia, Ericka, Jonathan, and Lourdes. What are their similarities? What are their differences?

Beyond the Binary: Binary means only two options. Some people think that gender only has two options, but we know it’s more free than that! Playing with a partner, how many ways can you go beyond the binary?!

• Materials: two bowls, small items for counting (legos, pebbles, chocolate chips, toys, game pieces, whatever works!). For an extra fine motor muscles challenge, use pincers or chopsticks to count your pieces!

• Fill two bowls with roughly the same amounts of pieces.

• Brainstorm two things that you often hear in opposite pairs (ex. black and white, cat and dog, up and down). Assign one item to each bowl (one bowl for black, one for white).

• Play! How many things can you think of that are beyond your binary? (Purple! Teal! Brown! Magenta!) For each idea, remove one piece from your bowl and place it in the playing space around you. Each piece you remove is one point, practice counting while you play!

• Take turns, playing competitively (who can get the most points) or collaboratively (how many points can we get together). 

• Challenge yourself and your partner! Can you empty your binary bowls? Try again with another opposite pair!

• Play again using the gender binary, with bowls for girl and boy. What gender words are beyond the binary? You can always look back at past activities or resources for a reminder!

• Reflect on your game, which binary pair was easiest to brainstorm beyond? Which was hardest? What do binaries leave out?

VOCABULARY!

Nonbinary: Someone who does not identify as a boy or a girl, they might feel like both a boy and girl, somewhere in between, or outside of!

Binary: Two parts or two options, like how some people believe there are only two genders. We know that’s not true!

Spectrum: A range of many options. One example is the color spectrum, or all the colors between black and white. Another example is the gender spectrum, or all the genders between, around, or outside of boy and girl.

Latinx and Latine: People whose families come from a Latin American country. For more history and context on the word Latinx, read Mexican X Part X: What the Hex a Latinx by David Bowles.

Mahu: a gender identity in Native Hawaiian culture.

Questioning: Exploring who you are by asking questions, if you’re questioning you are still figuring out parts of your identity!

Spanish vocab:

• Cuales son tus pronombres? What are your pronouns?

• Como te identificas? How do you identify?

• Pronombres: pronouns

• Él/ellos/suyo: he/him/his

• Ella/ella/suyo: she/her/hers

• Elle/elle/suyo: they/them/theirs

• Tu decides!: You decide!